Why attraction, love, and commitment is important?

Asked by Anonymous

            Attraction, love, and commitment are all great components to a healthy relationship.  Why each of these looks different for every couple, they are all very important to maintain a healthy relationship.  These things combined help bring great value to a relationship to help it keep going.  The value that these bring are what will help a couple push through the valleys that relationships naturally go through.  Some of these components might struggle at certain times, but hopefully the other components can help pick up the slack.  For example, when attraction is struggling between a couple, the love and commitment could hopefully help them get through that struggle. 

            As these components grow and maintain, it can help build trust and security in the relationship, which is very important.  That development of security is what will help the relationship be worth it even when times get rough. Try to remember that attraction has an emotional and a physical component.  If you can remember that you can hopefully try to see to each of those for your partner and for yourself.  It can be really healthy to have discussions with your partner about how you personally develop emotional and physical attraction. 

            Love is a component that each of us show and receive differently.  It can be helpful to try and pinpoint how you receive love so that your partner can know what best to show you.  It can also be helpful to understand how you most naturally show love, but make sure to also keep in mind how your partner receives love.  For example, some of us are more likely to show love through words of affirmation whereas others might show love through acts of service.  Also, how we show and receive love change throughout the course of a relationship and so it is important to check in with yourself about that. With attraction and love hopefully being in a good place, the trust for the commitment should hopefully follow.  Try to make sure that you are transparent about what commitment looks like to you so that you and your partner can hopefully be on the same page.