Are behaviors adaptive?

As a society, we naturally default to polarized labels as a way to describe many things we encounter:  I.e., sugary foods are bad, paying your bills on time is good, etc.  We also often do this with behavior in order to categorize, and make sense of, how we or others respond to situations and circumstances.  For example, it’s easy to call a certain behavior unhealthy or healthy, since we seem to know exactly what those categories encompass and are made of.  Knowing what unhealthy or healthy means can help provide us with information to make important choices for our lives and what we want them to look like. While we try our best to choose what’s right, sometimes we aren’t always able to engage in healthy choices or avoid unhealthy behaviors (because we are only human!).  And when we don’t, we experience shame and self-punishment.  In reality, we are only choosing what we believe we need to get through that moment---that is adaptation.

So the answer to the question, “are behaviors adaptive” is a resounding YES!  All behaviors are adaptive. Think about the hardest moment in your life (broadly).  How did you get through that?  What did you do to push through the pain?  How are you maybe still wading through that?  Or try to imagine the scenario of a child trapped in a home with domestic violence—the child will undoubtedly adopt behaviors (healthy or not) to get through their horrific environment; the good news is that those behaviors will work to do that. 

Behaviors are also adaptive no matter the circumstances or environment.  If the goal of adaptation is to fit as best into the environment as possible (including the emotional environment), then leaving mid-argument is adaptive.  Isolating from people when you can’t handle crowds is adaptive.  Spending money online after an emotional breakup is adaptive. 

While behaviors are always adaptive, that doesn’t mean they serve us long-term.  Avoiding conflict can halt interpersonal growth, isolating from others can create miserable loneliness, and spending too much money can result in debt and financial ruin.  We always have a choice in every new moment to react differently to familiar circumstances and pave new pathways for our lives.  We have all the power to overcome our natural reactions to adaptations we’ve used short-term and even the ones we’ve used for years. 

It can be scary to step into new behavior, but we are definitely worth sitting in temporary discomfort to create the lives we want!