How do I navigate through my life, find myself and solve my sexuality issues?

Good morning Euphoria! Thank you for sharing your question and reaching out!

It sounds like you are going through a tough season of life, questioning your identity, your sexuality, and your desires more so in adulthood can be a confusing experience and it is important to remember you do not have to do this alone! In fact, it is really hard to heal in isolation which is probably one of the reasons you reached out asking this question today.

I would love to encourage you to begin a counseling experience and see if working with a counselor could be beneficial in getting your needs met to working through this confusion. Having a nonjudgmental, supportive, validating, and comforting third party to share about the experience you are going through can be so beneficial when it comes to working through your identity crisis. You might be struggling understanding yourself and not ready to share with family or friends yet, and that is totally OK! A counselor can be a great fit for support because of the confidentiality piece to the work you are doing, and the opportunity to feel safe, supported, and comfortable during the experience.

BetterHelp makes it easy to match with a counselor you feel supported and comfortable with! With BetterHelp's network of thousands of online providers, you are bound to find the fit that is right for you! Therapy is not one size fits all, and sometimes it does take a few tries until you find the perfect fit with someone who is able to meet all of your needs. Maybe you have specific gender preferences, expertise, specialities, or areas you are hoping your counselor to have knowledge about. BetterHelp makes it easy to share those requests and matches you with a licensed counselor within twenty four to forty eight hours upon joining your service. You can begin immediately upon being matched by reaching out to your counselor in the room you are assigned in a HIPPA compliant, safe, place to share what you have been going through.

One benefit you will get from signing up with services on BetterHelp that you would not see offered when receiving traditional therapy is the option to be able to begin your counseling right away and message your counselor in between sessions. The option to have discussion with your counselor through the messaging can be pivotal for those beginning a healing journey. A lot of the work you are going to be doing in counseling is implementing healthy strategies, habits, and rituals into your day to day life outside of the time you are meeting with your counselor during your session time period.

For example, your therapist might help you with implementing healthy self-care strategies, learning how to practice self-love, supporting you in communication strategies, setting boundaries with interpersonal relationships in your life, teaching mindfulness strategies, becoming an accountability partner, and more.

Being able to message your counselor anytime, anywhere, from the comfort of your smart phone and device about any barriers, difficulties, progress, growth, or needs that you have can become incredibly pivotal in your ability to see progress in treatment. Where as in a traditional counseling setting, you may wait a week or even longer before seeing your counselor again you can instead report immediately on these challenges and it decreases the likelihood that you will forget and not be able to share when your session does come around the next time.

Your therapist likely is going to help by encouraging practice in being vulnerable. It is incredibly tough and not an easy task. By practicing being vulnerable in a safe, comfortable, supportive environment like therapy you are gradually exposing yourself to being open with others in your life such as family, friends, and loved ones and experiencing confidence building as you begin building a therapeutic relationship with your counselor.

Your therapist can support you as well in helping you implement healthy self-care strategies to support your longevity in this self-discovery journey. For example, have you ever heard the phrase or saying "You cannot pour from an empty cup"? This emotional work you are doing is taxing, can be stressful, and takes a lot of time, intention, and emotional energy. You want to ensure you have healthy habits, strategies, and coping skills in place to provide you with success in this journey as much as possible. Some ideas your therapist might recommend is supporting you with practicing self-love strategies daily. Maybe this looks like beginning a positive affirmation practice. 

Our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors actually all interact and are interconnected in a cognitive behavioral triangle and if you can change one part of this system, the others will follow. We tend to be our own worst critics, and can be incredibly negative in self-talk or the way we perceive our circumstances. Your therapist can help point out cognitive distortions you might be telling yourself, identify unhelpful thinking and behavior patterns, and keep you accountable in actively noticing and increasing self-awareness around them so you can begin to unpack and unlearn these strategies over time.

Positive affirmations are something you can begin today as well! I like this strategy because it does not take a whole lot of time out of your day, and it you can couple it with an already existing healthy habit or strategy it is easier to stick long term. Next time you are in the bathroom brushing your teeth or flossing try taking a few minutes to look yourself in the mirror and repeat the following phrases "I am worthy of love. I am enough. I matter." 

At first, this is going to feel very uncomfortable but slowly over time it will begin to feel more natural and believable! I wish you best of luck in your healing!