I can't focus on my studies. How do I stop worrying about stupid thoughts and concentrate?

I want some people in my life who are very close and new, to like me and that's why I calculate each and every move of mine. Thoughts about what I will say to them in my next chat with them so they see I am interesting and fun to hangout with and immediately after I finish talking to them thoughts about what I could have said differently and what could be perceived as stupid keep worrying me.
What do I do?
Asked by Saul

Dear Saul

I hope my message finds you well.

It sounds very much like you are an overthinker. How do these processes lead you closer to what you want? How can you stop this, I wonder what it would be like to start liking yourself for who you are.

Accepting that you are interesting if we focus on the external for our peace it will always and only be temporary.

It sounds like you need to learn to accept yourself unconditionally this way your world will remain in a constant flow. This is because you are not reliant on others to accept you.

You have learned to grow into the version of yourself you want the world to see and not need for others to see. Many events in our earlier life can contribute to us wanting to seek validation from others.

You, ask what you need to do.

What do you feel you need to do?

I wonder if engaging in therapy would support you in unpicking what and where your want external validation comes from. How you can connect with the younger version of yourself and offer the validation and acceptance which you did not feel was present in the way you needed them to be? I can only imagine how tiring it is for you to be on this constant path of planning each and every interaction and when that has taken place beating yourself up for the things you could have said but did not.

Learning some deep breathing techniques may support in calming your thoughts, also maybe engaging in therapy could possibly help you unpick what is going on for you in a safe and non-judgmental space.

You have the answers you seek from an external point of view however it may currently not be easy for you to connect with this part of yourself on your own.

I hope you find something within these lines which will support you to take the next step to a deeper understanding of yourself. I am here if you would like to explore deeper.

Take the very best care

Kind regards