How do I cope?

Hello, first of thank you for reaching out for help on this question of anxiety.

You mention being out of control and this making you feel unsafe and sick. It may be helpful when you are somewhere safe and quiet, to map out your experience of anxiety. You can do this in several different forums. For instance, you could write out a timeline and mark down each particular time that you experienced anxiety and what was happening. This would help you identify key issues that potentially trigger your anxiety.

In terms of techniques, there are a few I can suggest to manage the anxiety on a surface level. For instance, simply taking deep slow breaths can help. Alternatively, you can find a word that helps you feel more like yourself and say it to yourself 10 times. For instance, "relax" or "calm". It can be any other word that comes to mind, but just bear in mind it has to help with you whispering it to yourself quietly 10 times in succession. Lastly, you could use progressive muscle-tension relaxation. Tense your body, hold it and release. The more you do this, the more relaxed you should feel.

In addition, you may want to write out a risk profile showing what makes you anxious. Is it a place, a person, a scenario or something else? With these things in mind, you can plan a strategy of what to help you.

How we behave and react to a situation will influence further your thoughts and feelings on this. So it may be worthwhile exploring if you can put a positive thought in your mind to help you combat the anxiety or at least lessons it's symptoms on you. For instance, thinking something like "I am in control and this will pass" might help. Again, find your own words and tailor it to yourself, as you know what you can believe and what will be effective for you.

Lastly, a pattern of gradual exposure may help you. If you have identified a particular place or situation that causes this anxiety, it may help to devise a plan of gradual exposure to this situation. The idea is that you learn to manage and deal with the anxiety in small steps, rather than avoiding it or letting the anxiety seem too large to manage in these situations.

I hope that has helped give some initial ideas. Obviously with all of the above, you can talk to a therapist in more detail and they can help tailor individual steps and plans that will help you more thoroughly.