Why do I feel like something is wrong with me?

Hello and thank you for reaching out to me here at BetterHelp!

I'm sorry to read that you are feeling like a failure but I assure you, you are not! Depending on what we have going on in life, it's easy to feel overwhelmed at times and it's just as easy for our thoughts, feelings and emotions to take over and dominate how we are responding to situations. Before you can start working on promoting symptom management, you want to take some time to reflect on what it is that is causing you to feel this way. Have there been any significant changes, upsets or losses recently? A recent breakup? A significant change at work? Increased personal or financial stressors? Any health related concerns? How we feel on a day to day basis can be impacted and affected by so many different factors. Sometimes it's something we never thought would affect us but underneath the surface, that one factor could be the culprit for how we are feeling. There is an underlying factor or cause that is causing you to feel this way, which is why it is so important to think about what has been going on in your life recently. It is also just as important to think about things from your past as there could be something there that is playing a role in your symptoms and overall disposition. Is there anything traumatic in your past or a relationship with a family member that could be affecting how you have been feeling?

Having a strong set of coping skills can go a long way in helping to promote a healthy balance between mind and mood. To help in starting to promote symptom management, you want to start with setting small, attainable goals and focus on one area at a time. What is one step you are comfortable taking to promote positive change? 

Below is an exercise I would like for you to try that is helpful in promoting emotional regulation. It's called the STOP technique and is very helpful and can help to reduce stress, anxiety, agitation and can help to promote calmness. 

Simply put, this exercise is a four-step mental checklist that you can use anytime you want to add a burst of fresh energy, creativity, or insight to whatever is going on. The whole idea behind it is that by taking a very brief break-even less than one minute-you can determine the very best action to take in the moment.

Let's walk through it together:

S = Stop

Stop what you are doing: Press the pause button on your thoughts and actions.

T = Take

Take a few deep breaths to center yourself and bring yourself fully into the present moment.

O = Observe

Observe what is going on with your:

• Body: What physical sensations are you aware of (touch, sight, hearing, taste, smell)?
• Emotions: What are you feeling right now?
• Mind: What assumptions are your making about your feelings? What is the story you're telling yourself about why you are having them?

P = Proceed

Proceed with whatever you were doing, making a conscious, intentional choice to incorporate what you just learned.

I hope you found this helpful as a starting point for you to reflect upon and build on.

I welcome the opportunity to help you work through these circumstances here at BetterHelp! Together, we can work to process the underlying factors and dynamics that are playing a role in how you have been feeling and explore coping skills to help alleviate symptoms and promote symptom management.

I look forward to hearing from you soon!

Regards,

Melissa Dawicki M.S., LPC, NCC