How can I beat depression?

To Stella:

I am glad that you reached out.  And I am very sorry to hear of the losses you have suffered.  Intense grief over losing loved ones, especially in the case of parents and their deaths being so close together, is natural.  Don’t let anyone think you are unusual for feeling this way.   I am curious to know if you ever received any grief counseling following the passing of either parent, and if you are considering it now?  Some cities offer grief counseling in a group setting if this may be of interest.

You may also want to look up some information on the different stages of grief, which include anger, denial, bargaining, depression and eventually acceptance.  It is common to move in and out of these different stages.  Depression is a natural response to grief and may be combined with low energy and motivation.  Think of what self-care practices you can try during this period of time that will help you.  For example, you may want to seek out some creature comforts or pampering like a massage.  Try to also engage in an activity you truly enjoy and get lost in it.  You may also benefit from relaxation skill, like a calming guided meditation, deep-breathing, or imagery of a relaxing scene, maybe even one that includes your loved ones in a new happy place.  You can also try creating a mantra for yourself such as “I can get through this.”  Whatever you do, you don’t want to avoid your feelings.  Emotions need to be expressed, and journaling thoughts and feelings is one way to do so.  Or doing something physical to get them out, even if it is a good cry or a shout.

Of course having a support system is critical, too.  Seeking out the support of a professional, such as through BetterHelp, may be beneficial.  If you decide to seek out a therapist, there are many qualified providers on this platform who I am confident would be happy to work with you.  In addition, the below books might be of interest for you:

Joan Didion: Blue Nights & The Year of Magical Thinking

Megan Devine: It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture that Doesn’t Understand

Lucy Hone: Resilient Grieving: Finding Strength & Embracing Life After a Loss That Changes Everything

Janice Harris Lord: No Time for Goodbyes

The latter is particularly a good one for sudden death, which may or may not apply to your situation.  I hope that you begin to feel better soon, but the grieving process does take time.  Please take care of yourself and should you decide to seek out counseling, I wish you all the best with it!  I myself do not specialize in providing grief counseling, but that is a criteria you could search for and seek out the help of the Member Success Team for assistance.

Take care of yourself.

Regards,

Alicia