Why guilt is good?

Guilt and shame are often confused for one another, but research shows a difference between the two emotions. Shame researcher Brene Brown famously states in one of her popular videos:

Shame is, “I am bad.” Guilt is, “I did something bad.”

In this light, shame is a deeply embedded idea that one is worthless or a bad person. Guilt is an emotion experienced following doing something that they consider to be bad or worthy of regret.

Guilt and regret are common emotions. After taking an accessible parking spot, you don’t qualify for when that doesn’t align with what you know to be right. Your guilt or regret may increase when you leave the store and see someone with handicapped tags parking in an inaccessible spot, knowing your choice may have negatively impacted someone else.

Guilt can encourage your moral compass and encourage you to do better and differently in the future. Guilt can motivate you to take responsibility through right action after you’ve wronged someone or change behavior in the future to ensure that wrong doesn’t occur through a similar behavior again. Guilt comes from a good place, from wanting to make things better in the future.

Guilt can serve as a helpful reminder of your values or morals and help you stick to them through behavior that aligns with them. However, guilt mustn’t become a fixation or recurring theme in your daily life. Guilt that becomes problematic and feeds into negative views of self or negative self-talk can become debilitating. It may trap you in a cycle of believing you aren’t good enough or can’t do anything right and prevent you from taking the kinds of positive actions that guilt can support. Extreme feelings of guilt that lead to this sort of negative inner dialogue are linked with depression and other issues that may become serious or interfere with your daily life and ability to function.

Guilt can be a powerful and positive influence that keeps your behavior in line with your personal values and your efforts to do better in the future on track but can also become problematic. If you’re experiencing guilt that becomes impairing or occurs alongside feelings of intense sadness or worthlessness, talking with a licensed therapist can help you put guilt in perspective, channel it in productive ways, and alleviate depression or other conditions that may come with feelings of guilt.