How attraction changes over time?

There are numerous variables that affects the change in attraction over time.  Some of which is internal changes and there are also external changes, we will review both.  Keeping in mind that it is natural for attraction to change or shift; it is helpful to look as this without the label of “good” or “bad” but just observing the change as it is. 

Some internal changes include:

1. Interpersonal growth: as we focus on create positive growth in our life goals, this will likely change what we are drawn/attracted to.  For example, if you used to have a high value for excitement as one point in your life and then overtime found safety and stability to be of higher value.  Then you will be drawn to people that emulate that sense of safety and stability.  This can apply to vice versa and other comparisons as well. 
2. Brain development:  Our minds shift as we age and our brain develops in certain areas; our perception of attraction will change as well.  For example, as a younger person your brain omits many hormones that trigger sexual arousal but as you age those hormones may not be as frequent.  So, in your younger years you may be attracted to someone primarily for the desire of intercourse but overtime that may not necessarily be the only driving force that affects attraction as you age. 

External changes include:

1. Life experiences:
   1. The things we see and observe, as well as things that happen directly to us can affect what we are drawn/attracted to.  For instance, if you have been exposed to an environment where you are primarily exposed to heavy metal music you will have an attraction to this genre of music and most likely will be drawn to others that also enjoy this genre
   2. Sometimes our life experience has cause us to have an aversion to things that we would normally be attracted to.  So, for example, perhaps you would normally have an attraction to a specific physical feature, such as a person’s hair color, but then you had a really bad experience with someone who had that hair color.  You may notice that when you meet someone with that similar feature, memories of that bad experience may pop into your head and will cause you to be less attracted to that person because of the memories being triggered.