How does dating work?

Content/Trigger Warning: Please be advised that the article below might mention trauma-related topics that include types of abuse & violence that could be triggering.

Dating has certainly changed over the past few decades. Typically, dependent upon a person’s upbringing and family system, people start ‘dating’ in high school and sometimes earlier or later. People will show interest in one another and call it ‘hanging out’ while studying, watching each other at a sporting event, attending a sporting event or gathering, dances, and eventually spending time at each other’s houses. However, this is not always the case. There are some major differences in what is allowed and acceptable forms of freedom in the dating world during adolescence in many families. Being ‘exclusive’ means that the two people dating are committed to each other. More often than not, cheating, verbal and physical abuse, and manipulation mark many adolescent dating relationships. Transparency with parents and support systems helps to prevent this downward spiral in certain relationships.

Dating post-high school and beyond…

Post-high school dating is in the form of meeting people at college, through family or friends, at a religious institution, online, at a bar, and sometimes at work. Dating in your 20’s has largely changed in that many couples who date desire to put off family planning, buying a home, and getting married for traveling, dating others to ensure their choice is the right match, attending school and graduate school without the worry of a relationship, etc. Dating looks a lot like one-night stands and hook-ups for many people in their 20’s and even in their 30’s. People will often use the excuse of dating, but they are not interested in dating, a relationship, or going exclusive after a short time report. What does all of this mean? Dating is hard work for some people because until the right match comes along, it can be a lot of figuring out what people’s real intentions are. Have a value system and staying within those boundaries will help. Beyond that, divorced and widowed populations experience dating as a hardship because they are out of practice, and it can carry many confusing triggers and messages. With that being said, moving at your own pace is always the way to stay grounded in your sense of self.