what do relationships need?

This is an important question to consider when exploring how to improve one’s relationships.  I’m a firm believer that romantic relationships, familial relationships, and platonic relationships all need very similar things to stay healthy.  Oftentimes, we separate these different relationship categories and think that we need different things for each one.  While it’s true that two people in a romantic relationship will interact differently than two people in a platonic relationship, there are still core concepts that keep both of these types of relationships strong and healthy.

The first involves setting healthy boundaries.  When analyzing the different relationships in one’s life, it is important to know what their personal boundaries are. Each person is unique and different, and the boundaries that they set within different relationships are likewise unique and different.  It is important to note that there are also different types of boundaries.  Boundaries can be firm, situational, or flexible.  They can be subject to change based on how a person feels or what might be happening in a person’s life.  It is important within all relationships to determine what one’s personal boundaries are and revisit those boundaries so that they stay healthy and up to date.

This leads to the second concept that is crucial to relationships being healthy and thriving: communication.  Ineffective communication within relationships is all too often the reason why certain relationships fall apart.  To establish good boundaries, communicate changes in those boundaries, and voice when a boundary has been crossed, one needs to develop effective interpersonal communication that promotes honesty and transparency.  The four most common styles of communication are: aggressive, passive-aggressive, passive, and assertive.  Of these four different styles, the only one that garners mutual respect within the relationship is assertive.  This doesn’t necessarily mean not being uncomfortable, worried, or scared to talk about certain things.  It just means allowing both yourself and the other person to respect open and honest communication regarding feelings and boundaries. 

If these two concepts remain consistent within a relationship dynamic, other aspects of a healthy relationship, such as trust, validation, and mutual respect, will follow.