Why attachment theory is important?

Before diving into why attachment theory is so important, it is important to know the different styles of attachment that present themselves in both childhood and adulthood.  In childhood, we see predominately four different types of attachment.  A secure attachment is one where a child feels secure to explore and is confident in their caregivers’ ability to provide them with their wants and needs and protect them from danger.  An anxious ambivalent attachment is when a child is warier of strangers and does not necessarily trust their parents or caregivers to provide them with protection.  Oftentimes, these children will display ambivalence, or conflict, with their feelings towards their caregivers.  Anxious avoidant attachment refers to children who often have very neutral feelings towards both their caregivers and strangers, making it difficult to form relationships altogether.  Finally, disorganized children often displayed different attachment styles and sometimes fluctuated between them based on the situation.

In adults, a secure attachment presents as someone who feels confident in their relationships and their ability to thrive within those relationships.  The other attachment styles that we see in adulthood will differ from those seen in children.  The first one is anxious and preoccupied.  This is where the person’s self-confidence within themselves and their abilities within a relationship is very low.  Meanwhile, their confidence in others remains high.  The second is dismissive-avoidant and is the exact opposite of the anxious preoccupied.  This is where we see people who have high self-confidence within themselves and their ability to thrive within a relationship but have low confidence in others.  Finally, there is a fearful-avoidant where somebody’s confidence and view of self and their view of others fluctuate and are not consistent.

So, why is this all-important?   One reason is that it gives us insight into how children are different and therefore have different needs.  It cannot be stressed enough that all children will require different strategies to help them feel safe and secure.  For example, a secure child might thrive going into a new social situation without much guidance other than the reassurance of a caregiver.  Meanwhile, an anxious-avoidant child might need more support and guidance, and encouragement even to feel the need to explore in a new social situation such as daycare or preschool.

Another reason it is so important is that it helps us determine in our adulthood what some of the pitfalls might be when attempting to navigate our interpersonal relationships.  For example, someone might realize that they have an anxious preoccupied attachment. This might lead them to want to work on coping skills related to improving their confidence in their ability to function within relationships while also avoiding repeating negative patterns of behavior associated with this.

Even someone secure in their adult attachments can still learn and grow from a knowledge of different attachment styles.  By knowing about attachment theory, they can use this within their relationships to navigate dynamics with people who might have insecure attachments and understand others' behaviors better. Attachment theory teaches us how to cater to or be flexible in our approaches as we interact with people.  Whether it be children or adults, it is good to be aware that people are relating to us differently and how we relate to them because our attachment styles are very different.  This can cultivate more understanding of one another and help us strengthen the different relationship dynamics that we engage in daily.