Why attraction happens?

            Attraction can be such a fun feeling to experience but also confusing at times. It can be helpful to think through why attraction happens and what ignites it for you.  Attraction has emotional and physical components to it. Some of us are more likely to develop attraction towards someone emotionally, such as personality, maturity, among other things.  Then, some of us are more likely to develop attraction towards someone physically, such as physique, eye color, sex, among other things.  You can be somewhere in between on that spectrum and it is important to know where you lie on it.  For example, if you tend to be more emotionally attracted, it will be more important for you to connect with someone before taking things to a physical level. 

            Our hormones definitely play an important role in developing attraction.  The hormone, dopamine, is the hormone we experience when we are first attracted to someone.  This hormone helps the attraction to be so strong at first, and it is normal for it to start to die off some as a connection continues.  It is important to see this fluctuation as natural rather than meaning something more than that.  When you can accept this process, it can help you validate it as it happens and not be alarmed by it when it fluctuates. 

            It can also be helpful to consider your different senses and what senses tend to be the strongest for you.  Consider your attraction to someone’s smell, voice, appearance, taste, and touch.  We are all wired differently with this and it is just important to own what senses tend to be strongest for you.  It is also helpful to consider what makes someone compatible to you.  Compatibility is an important part of attraction that is important to consider to help you with your dating life.  As you consider compatibility, make sure to consider proximity.  We are more likely to be attracted to someone if they are somewhat in close proximity because long-distance attraction so often does not work in the long-term.  Also, when someone is closer to you, it will give you more immediate gratification for your attraction.