Why do I feel like a failure?

I'm very sorry to hear you are having a difficult time right now, but I'm really glad you are reaching out.  You mentioned feeling like a failure, and I can tell from what you wrote that obtaining a home, getting married and starting a family are very important to you. It sounds like you have noticed some specific challenges that arise for you in intimate relationships. I can imagine it's both frustrating and painful to invest in someone, feel like you are on the 'same page' so to speak about the relationship/expectations only for the dynamic to suddenly shift.

Navigating new relationships can be challenging for many people. I wonder if you can tell me a bit more about your last relationship or dating experience; What did you feel was positive/healthy and what did you find challenging? 

I often find that the biggest challenge for many people in relationships has to do with communication. People communicate in different ways, and we can celebrate those differences. Regardless of the communication style, effective regular communication is very necessary for a relationship to thrive.

Sometimes people struggle with how to communicate in a positive healthy manner; we learn a great deal about communication at a young age through interacting with family and friends. If open and honest communication was not modeled for us, we might feel a bit lost when trying to discuss expectations or priorities in a relationship. Here's the good news; those skills can be learned with practice and support. Once we identify the strengths and areas for improvement in our own communication style it can be easier to build on those strengths and work on healthy communication as a "team" when you are in a relationship. On that note, I'm curious if you have found any difficulties or barrier arise when communicating in a relationship? 

I wish you the best in your online counseling journey and I hope this feedback was helpful!