Why Relationships Are Hard?

Relationships are hard for various reasons: We invest a lot of time in them, so we are scared that they might suddenly end; this, in turn, creates fear and anxiety in us. Relationships are also hard because they require accurate communication, which does not always happen. Finally, relationships are hard due to requiring a certain amount of vulnerability to reveal while in them.

A good relationship requires an investment of time. Think of any friendship you have…most likely, the most valuable ones are also the oldest ones. Anyone who has ever lost one of these old friendships or, even worse, an intimate relationship knows how much it can hurt. Losing such relationships where you have invested much time and effort is painful. Therefore people are reluctant to work on establishing such relationships, wanting to avoid that emotional pain.

Relationships require constant communication between two people to flourish. This can be difficult for many, especially if they were never taught strong communication skills within their family environment. For highly introverted people or have a more passive communication style, trying to get their partners or friends to understand their needs can feel challenging. Add to this the fact that even in the best of circumstances, miscommunication can happen. Poor communication or miscommunication can completely derail any relationship, making them hard to maintain. 

In addition to time and communication, a good relationship requires people to reveal a vulnerability to form emotional bonds. This is hard for many people to do. Many people have been emotionally hurt or even scarred by others in their lives. This can make being vulnerable incredibly uncomfortable. If a person grows up with caregivers who were not emotionally available, that person will struggle to build close relationships with others.

Relationships are clearly not easy to maintain; they require commitments from us, a commitment to time, a commitment to communicating well, and a commitment to be vulnerable. None of these commitments are easy for people but are required if we want lifelong satisfying relationships in our lives.